In memory of Donald Charles Marks Sr. on his birthday

Today is my father's birthday. Friday is mine. This is the first year I've had March without him. In a way it feels like both of our birthdays are gone, forever. The way we've always celebrated is, so I decided to start a new tradition. We were going to dig a bonfire pit and light a fire. We were also going to go and pick a plant and plant it in the yard for him. I wanted something I could visit, tend to, look at.





Then today, it hit me. I may move, and it is hard to share the joy and peace to be found in bonfires with loved ones that also miss him. So...

I named a star after him. Donald Charles Marks Sr. I know one cannot really and seriously own a star. I know we are all in our totality connected to every bit of the universe, in its totality (or rather, I believe). It just felt like it would honor him. He would think it's really badass, which is central to this plot. Secondly, I can readily see his constellation (pisces) from where I live this time of year. That's his sign, also.
Most imporantly, there will be something out there in the universe I can concretely connect with him at all times. Sometimes I need that. I'm not always so "zen" with people telling me my dad is out there, he is still aware of me at some level. This will be easier to think about. The company is also going to have a telescope take a photograph of the star and mail it to me. I will hang that in my house, near my bed or desk. I will send it to anyone who wants a copy.
A link to the certificate can be found here:
http://www.nameastarlive.com/certificates/DUCHAKHNPN.pdf
way cooler than a peace lily or rosebush, and for everyone.
thanks for 24.6 years of awesomeness.

STAR ASTRONOMICAL COORDINATES:
Visual Magnitude Indicator: 10.1
Catalog Number: TYC 4667-166-1
Declination: -3° 15' 56"
Right Ascension: 0h 17m 8s

Constellation: Pisces

Thanksgiving 2009

On some days I am thankful for the ability to shut off my emotions, to totally immerse myself in a project. Today I was thankful to feel so human. I felt a real pain and a real fear in my heart for my family. There were a few hours today that I decided not to put on a confident mask, and let myself grieve for my mother's loss, and for the loss of the only family member I have that I feel like I made any sense to. That was a luxury, not something everyone gets or is even entitled to, I suppose. At least we keep connections with the creatures that spawn us, unlike so many other animals. Perhaps if we didn't, though, we wouldn't have to go through this pain.

It has been beautiful. It is always beautiful to watch loved ones enjoy the world. At the end of the night I feel lonely. I finally take a day off to relax, and yet without any family members alive who think anything I have to add to the conversation is interesting, I feel like I have no one to truly share this day with.












-posted on the move